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White Sand and Stone
  • Writer's pictureThe Living Room Post

Welcome Home

Updated: Mar 23, 2023


Imagine yourself at home after work, in a space that makes you feel completely at peace. A space that allows you to feel relaxed, vulnerable, and free from the stress the next day may bring …..for some, it may be near a fireplace with a cup of tea, but for me, it’s in my living room on an ivory couch with a plush white blanket and gold embellished pillows, a fireplace full of candles, John Coltrane on my record player, and of course a glass of buttery chardonnay. After taking inventory of my life in the final years of my 20s, I decided to change course and embark on a journey. I said goodbye to people and situations that did not have my best interest at heart. I changed my career for the sake of my mental health, and I enrolled in school to finish my formal education. By the age of 29, I found myself in a new city, in my own apartment, juggling school and work, trying to regain a relationship with God, and to my surprise, I was completely alone….and I was the happiest I had ever been.


Let's be honest.....

Leading up to this newfound happiness, I mastered the art of organizing my thoughts and emotions in a way that led to unpacking my true feelings. I unboxed the emotional and mental struggles I endured throughout my entire adulthood. For the first time I was ready to be honest with myself, and honestly speaking…..there were parts of me that I wasn’t too fond of. I decided to walk myself through my past, and let’s just say that butter chardonnay turned into Hennessey REAL quick. It was a night full of honesty, laughter, and tears….and by the next morning, I felt like I could finally breathe. I came to the conclusion that I was hiding my true feelings from myself due to judgment and shame, and I refused to face some of my ugliest truths.

I decided to put all those ugly parts of myself on display, so I found a journal and wrote it all down. Years and years of mistakes, terrible decisions, running from my responsibilities, but more so, running from God. From poor career decisions, to the wrong lovers, to comparing nights of too much vodka vs too much crown🙄....because baby, there’s a difference (if you know, you know). Before long, I ripped the pages of my journal, threw it on floor in front of me, and stared at my life. I soon realized that I didn’t know this woman at all.....The real me would never...the me I knew now couldn’t have.... but I did. I then began to shed uncontrollable tears. But they weren’t sad.... they were tears of joy and gratitude. You see, I realized that as quickly as I felt so ashamed of my past mistakes, I immediately felt so much gratitude for God allowing me to survive situations that I shouldn’t have. To allow me to see another day when so many others didn’t. I began to walk around my hause expressing my gratitude to God. Yelling and screaming, and in the same breathe speaking life over myself and my situation. Giving my life back to God, and promising myself to never live another day with an ungrateful heart. So many of us take the life we have for granted when in reality, we only have this one earthly experience, and we choose to waste it far too often.


Let's be grateful.....


I wanted to create a life that maximized my time here on earth, but there was no way I could do so without first making myself well. So many of our problems are centered around our emotional and mental capacity, or lack thereof. We are not taught how to properly deal with or accept our emotions. How to have healthy and long-lasting relationships with a significant other, family member, or friend. How to express our thoughts and emotions without anger or profanity (expand your vocabulary people). How to say “No”, or better yet, how to say “No, im not ok” (That is an entire conversation on it’s own). In my hause, I wanted to make it the norm to be completely and unapologetically honest about how I felt. After doing so, I promised myself to always find a solution to whatever problem I was facing at the time. If that meant reading a book about mental disorders, or listening to a podcast about emotional wellness, then that’s exactly what I

did. I taught myself how to heal from the inside out, and I held my therapy sessions in my living. If I didn’t feel like my problem would be solved by the typical reading or watching a ted talk, I transitioned to music therapy. I poured a glass of chardonnay or mixed a quick cocktail, and I would head over to my sitting room, light some candles, turn off the lights, and turn on the record player. I would spend hours in the candlelight listening to John Coltrane or Maxwell, and somehow without saying a word, my mind and heart would be so clear. Some days called for a really good meal, and my therapy for the day would be cooking. Other days called for ordering takeout and taking a nice steamy shower or a relaxing bath. Sitting on the patio and being one with nature, or climbing in bed in those silk pajamas no one ever wears and catching up on my favorite show. No matter what the night called for, I made sure my home was my place of peace. I turned my hause into my sanctuary. It became my safe place from all of the stress of the day, all of the criticism, and the worries of what tomorrow would bring. I made sure that no matter what I had to do in the evenings, I took at least 3 nights out of my hectic week to check in on Alexus. I made sure that I was at my ideal state of wellness, because if my cup wasn’t full there was no way I could pour love and kindness into others. After a few months of actively loving myself more, forgiving myself for the mistakes I made, giving myself grace, and allowing God to order my steps, Greenhause was birthed.


Let's heal.....



This wellness brand is not the typical “self help” business. The goal is not for you to simply “help yourself”, the goal is to create permanent wellness in every aspect of your life, and the lives you touch. If we all take the time to work on ourselves just a little each day, to be more forgiving (not so much for the sake of others, but for the sake of your emotional wellness), to start showing up as our best selves for our family and friends, and to start the conversations, we can prevent so much illness within each other. With your help, Greenhause will be the beginning of a beauiful healing journey for so many of us. The first step is to start the conversation. Start asking yourself the hard questions, and be honest with your answers. Yes, It’ll be difficult, and no, some days you will not have the emotional capacity to deal with the parts of your present or past that you may not be proud of. But please, take a moment to step away and just give yourself grace, then get back to it. I will be here every step of the way if you need to vent, or even if you’re just proud of yourself for your progress. Dm me or email me and let me know! I want to hear it all, and I want each and every one of you to know that you DO have someone in your corner who is rooting for you during this journey. So, let’s get started. Oh and fyi......some of these next conversations will more than likely trigger you, so break out your bible or your cocktail glass, because I WILL be posting my favorite late night libations and bible scriptures that I paired with these topics. It's called a healthy balance....You’re welcome.


All my love,


Alexus

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